The Climate Chaos Scenario

Among the most unpredictable -- yet predictable -- of the apocalypses.

Predictable, according to mountains of evidence from the most dispassionate scientists in the world, who can hardly believe what they're seeing. Unpredictable, because the interconnecting systems are beyond our ability to accurately model.

Many feedback systems are at play: in the human systems, we have China building one coal-fed power plant every week, and an increasing desire within India (one+ billion), Indonesia (one+ billion), and Africa (one+ billion), and more for an increasingly energy-intensive lifestyle -- not unlike the US experience. This demand is most cheaply met by treating the atmosphere as an open sewer; rapid change is quite costly to the huge financial systems currently in power.

In the natural systems, other feedback systems look equally bleak. The former permafrost now melting in Siberia is releasing gigantic amounts of methane, a powerful greenhouse gas. The increasing openness of the Arctic waters means less reflection, and more absorption, of solar heat. The same is true of land, as the glaciers retreat. New evidence indicates that many plants, as the temperature rises, begin to release CO2 instead of absorbing it. The interconnected, mutually exacerbating systems make this apocalypse exceedingly difficult to halt, and merely "very difficult" to slow down.

We are projecting, over the next ten years, using mostly pessimistic predictions, the following scenario:



Climate Chaos News Items

from Sydney Morning Herald (Australia), 01/09/08
Academic seeks 100 percent greenhouse target
Nations need to cut greenhouse pollution by 50 per cent by 2025 and 100 per cent by 2050 to avoid climatic disaster, an academic says. Climate change researcher Ian McGregor said the kind of emissions cuts being discussed at the UN conference on Bali would fail to avert catastrophic climate change.
The ApocoDocs say:
Wait, you mean we don't get to give this problem to our children?

from KOTV (Oklahoma), 02/17/08
Worst Tulsa ice storm in 20 years
"Thousands of calls have been made to the City's 911 operators requesting police, fire, medical and other assistance. Tulsa firefighters have responded to more than 50 structural fires since the storm began. One smoke-inhalation fatality was reported. One person died Monday when their vehicle struck a downed power line and brought a power pole down on the vehicle. At 2:00 p.m. on Monday, Tulsa police had 76 uniformed officers patrolling streets. They were assisted by 65 detectives, academy staff and recruits and other police officers taking calls and looking for hazardous situations. Public Works had 30 crews removing tree debris and checking bridges and overpasses for ice. "All agencies are working diligently to deal with the needs of citizens," said Mayor Taylor. "We will continue to monitor weather conditions and to direct operations as long as needed from the EOC." "I want to urge everyone to be very cautious in coming days," the mayor said."
The ApocoDocs say:
220,000 without power, for "weeks" they're saying. Bush declares state of emergency, though 2600 members of the Oklahoma National Guard are currently in Iraq.

from NPR, 02/17/08
Scientists Seek Cause of Mysterious "Rogue" Waves
"'Rogue waves' are monsters of the open ocean -- the powerful 'walls of water' can destroy even large ships. Satellite measurements have found them to be up to 100 feet tall. So far, scientists have disagreed about what causes the waves, but researchers at UCLA think that they may have found a clue"
The ApocoDocs say:
Talk about anthropomorphizing: a "rogue" of a wave...

from Science, 02/17/08
Will Beetles Inherit The Earth? Evolutionary Study Reveals Their Long-term Success
"Most modern-day groups of beetles have been around since the time of the dinosaurs and have been diversifying ever since, says new research. There are approximately 350,000 species of beetles on Earth, and probably millions more yet to be discovered, accounting for about 25 percent of all known life forms on the planet. The reason for this large number of beetle species has been debated by scientists for many years, but never resolved."
The ApocoDocs say:
Beetles are the new roaches in terms of PostApoc survivalists.

from Associated Press, 01/02/08
California sues EPA over tailpipe rules
"California sued the federal government Wednesday in its ongoing bid to set the country's first greenhouse gas limits on cars, trucks and SUVs, providing new data to show its program is superior to a federal plan. EPA Administrator Stephen L. ... Johnson said energy legislation signed by President Bush will raise fuel economy standards to an average of 35 miles per gallon by 2020, which he called a far more effective approach to reducing greenhouse gases than a patchwork of state regulations."
The ApocoDocs say:
By 2020, we should be getting 350 miles to a gallon.

from The Daily Green, 01/09/08
Carbon Isn't the Only Global Cycle Out of Whack
"The world is getting familiar with the carbon cycle and how pumping carbon that's been buried for millions of years into the atmosphere causes some global problems. Well, get ready to learn about nitrogen. Like carbon, the nitrogen cycle is all out of whack. In this case, the origins are similar. Instead of burning petroleum or coal, nitrogen comes from natural gas transformed into ammonia fertilizer and used to grow crops; what doesn't absorb into the soil runs off into streams, which flow into rivers, which flow to the ocean, where the nitrogen fuels "dead zones" -- areas where nitrogen (and phosphorus) fertilizes so much algae growth that it absorbs enough oxygen to make the water inhospitable to fish and other marine life. Jellyfish are about the only thing that thrives in these conditions; corals certainly do not."
The ApocoDocs say:
If "dead zones" sounds like the title of a Steven Seagal film, then this action flick is more akin to a mega-disaster film.

from PortClintonNewsHerald (Ohio), 01/09/08
101-year temperature record broken
"In any time in Ohio, we can get a mix of weather. In January it's not really common that we get southerly weather this far north, but it can happen. The jet stream has shifted its position to allow the warm air to flow north into Ohio," the meteorologist said. "We've had several swings in recent years where we do get warm-ups in January. ... Getting temperatures in the 50s is really not that uncommon, but getting them into the 60s is really noteworthy."
The ApocoDocs say:
Local weather is a very different entity than climate warming, but it's still notable that records were set all over the place. And we've also found it quite difficult to locate "colder than ever recorded" stories.

from AP News, 02/17/08
Floodwaters Begin to Recede in Nev. Town
"The cause of the canal failure in the northern Nevada desert town had not been determined, but it followed heavy rain from the storm system that piled up as much as 11 feet of snow in the Sierra Nevada range and toppled nearly 500 miles of power lines in California.... water that had been as deep as 8 feet was down to no more than a foot inside homes, but some streets still had 2 to 3 of icy water. "We're working as hard as we can," the mayor said."
The ApocoDocs say:
Causes of natural disasters can be a state away, as dominos fall: snow in California, and a canal in Nevada ruptures from the excess, and puts 8 feet of frigid water into living rooms. They're not much used to flooding in Nevada.

from Globe and Mail (Canada), 01/13/08
Antarctic ice sheet shrinking at faster rate
But a new study released today, based on some of the most extensive measurements to date of the continent's ice mass, presents a worrisome development: Antarctica's ice sheet is shrinking, at a rate that increased dramatically from 1996 to 2006.... "Over the time period of our survey, the ice sheet as a whole was certainly losing mass, and the mass loss increased by 75 per cent in 10 years," the study said.
The ApocoDocs say:
Wait... ANTarctica too!? I was just getting my head around the Arctic cap melting down....

from Associated Press, 01/14/08
Study: Northeast winters warming fast
"ALBANY, N.Y. - Earlier blooms. Less snow to shovel. Unseasonable warm spells. Signs that winters in the Northeast are losing their bite have been abundant in recent years and now researchers have nailed down numbers to show just how big the changes have been. A study of weather station data from across the Northeast from 1965 through 2005 found December-March temperatures increased by 2.5 degrees. Snowfall totals dropped by an average of 8.8 inches across the region over the same period, and the number of days with at least 1 inch of snow on the ground decreased by nine days on average."
The ApocoDocs say:
This distressing trend threatens yet another species: snowmen.

from Reuters, 02/16/08
Greenland thaw biggest in 50 years
"OSLO: Climate change has caused the greatest thaw of Greenland's ice in half a century, perhaps heralding a wider meltdown that would quicken a rise in world sea levels, scientists said on Tuesday. "We attribute significantly increased Greenland summer warmth and ice melt since 1990 to global warming," a group of researchers wrote in the Journal of Climate, adding to recent evidence of faster Antarctic and Arctic thaws. "The Greenland ice sheet is likely to be highly susceptible to ongoing global warming," they said. Greenland contains enough ice to raise world sea levels by seven metres, although the process would take centuries if it were to start."
The ApocoDocs say:
PostApocHaiku:
We would shed tears but
it would only add to the
rising sea levels

from Telegraph.co.uk, 01/16/08
Changing climate
"Climate change is having a significant impact on the health of the seas surrounding Britain, says a new report. Rising seas, bigger waves, flooding, and more violent storms are already happening as temperatures increase. 2006 was the second-warmest year in UK coastal waters since records began in 1870 and seven of the 10 warmest years have occurred in the last decade, according to the Marine Climate Change Impacts Partnership (MCCIP) report card 2007-08."
The ApocoDocs say:
Got your floaties ready, mate?

from New York Times, 02/16/08
U.S. Given Poor Marks on the Environment
"WASHINGTON -- A new international ranking of environmental performance puts the United States at the bottom of the Group of 8 industrialized nations and 39th among the 149 countries on the list. European nations dominate the top places in the ranking, which evaluates sanitation, greenhouse gas emissions, agricultural policies, air pollution and 20 other measures to formulate an overall score, with 100 the best possible. The top 10 countries, with scores of 87 or better, were led by Switzerland, Sweden, Norway and Finland. The others at the top were Austria, France, Latvia, Costa Rica, Colombia and New Zealand, the leader in the 2006 version of the analysis, which is conducted by researchers at Yale and Columbia Universities."
The ApocoDocs say:
Our marks might be poor but hey we're popular, athletic and havin' our way with the ladies.

from National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration, 01/27/08
2007 Was Tenth Warmest For U.S., Fifth Warmest Worldwide
"The average temperature for the contiguous U.S. in 2007 is officially the tenth warmest on record, according to data from scientists at NOAA's National Climatic Data Center in Asheville, N.C. The agency also determined the global surface temperature last year was the fifth warmest on record. The average U.S. temperature for 2007 was 54.2°F; 1.4°F warmer than the 20th century mean of 52.8°F."
The ApocoDocs say:
And whose bright idea was it come up with an acronym -- NOAA -- that evokes the dude with the ark?

from The Independent, 02/16/08
Big business says addressing climate change
"Global warming ranks far down the concerns of the world's biggest companies, despite world leaders' hopes that they will pioneer solutions to the impending climate crisis, a startling survey will reveal this week. Nearly nine in 10 of them do not rate it as a priority, says the study, which canvassed more than 500 big businesses in Britain, the US, Germany, Japan, India and China. Nearly twice as many see climate change as imposing costs on their business as those who believe it presents an opportunity to make money. And the report's publishers believe that big business will concentrate even less on climate change as the world economy deteriorates. The survey demolishes George Bush's insistence that global warming is best addressed through voluntary measures undertaken by business ..."
The ApocoDocs say:
So if world leaders can't do it, and big business isn't interested, then we figure it's up to us little people to take care of the planet. Of course, we might have to move the world leaders and big business out of the way...

from Science, 01/27/08
The Ocean
"The Sahara, the Gobi, the Chihuahuan--all are great deserts. But what about the South Pacific's subtropical gyre? This "biological desert" within a swirling expanse of nutrient-starved saltwater is the largest, and least productive, ecosystem of the South Pacific. Together with the subtropical gyres in other oceans, biological deserts cover 40 percent of Earth's surface. But their relative obscurity may be about to change. Researchers are reporting that the ocean's biological deserts have been expanding, and they are growing much faster than global warming models predict."
The ApocoDocs say:
Hovering above these ocean deserts are mirages that look like sand.

from American Geophysical Union, 01/28/08
American Geophysical Union Revises Position On Climate Change
"A statement released on January 24 by the world's largest scientific society of Earth and space scientists--the American Geophysical Union, or AGU--updates the organization's position on climate change: the evidence for it, potential consequences from it, and how to respond to it. The statement, Human Impacts on Climate ... is the first revision since 2003 of the climate-change position of the AGU, which has a membership of 50,000 researchers, teachers, and students in 137 countries."
The ApocoDocs say:
The society delivered this revised paper, then climbed into their spaceship, headed for Mars.

from Associated Press, 02/16/08
Poor Haitians resort to eating dirt
"PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - It was lunchtime in one of Haiti's worst slums, and Charlene Dumas was eating mud. With food prices rising, Haiti's poorest can't afford even a daily plate of rice, and some take desperate measures to fill their bellies. Charlene, 16 with a 1-month-old son, has come to rely on a traditional Haitian remedy for hunger pangs: cookies made of dried yellow dirt from the country's central plateau. Food prices around the world have spiked because of higher oil prices, needed for fertilizer, irrigation and transportation. Prices for basic ingredients such as corn and wheat are also up sharply, and the increasing global demand for biofuels is pressuring food markets as well."
The ApocoDocs say:
While Haitians are forced to eat dirt, most Americans can't even join the Clean Plate Club.

from Associated Press, 02/03/08
Rain forests fall at 'alarming' rate
"ABO EBAM, Nigeria - In the gloomy shade deep in Africa's rain forest, the noontime silence was pierced by the whine of a far-off chain saw. It was the sound of destruction, echoed from wood to wood, continent to continent, in the tropical belt that circles the globe. From Brazil to central Africa to once-lush islands in Asia's archipelagos, human encroachment is shrinking the world's rain forests. The alarm was sounded decades ago by environmentalists — and was little heeded. The picture, meanwhile, has changed: Africa is now a leader in destructiveness. The numbers have changed: U.N. specialists estimate 60 acres of tropical forest are felled worldwide every minute, up from 50 a generation back."
The ApocoDocs say:
This news bit could go in more than one scenario -- a testimony to its key importance. Why is it we can't see the rainforest for the trees?

from DOE/Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, 02/03/08
Human-caused Climate Change At Root Of Diminishing Water Flow In Western US, Scientists Find
"The Rocky Mountains have warmed by 2 degrees Fahrenheit. The snowpack in the Sierras has dwindled by 20 percent and the temperatures there have heated up by 1.7 degrees Fahrenheit. All could lead to dire consequences for the water supply in the Western United States, including California. Scientists have noted that water flow in the West has decreased for the last 20 to 30 years, but had never explained why it was happening. Until now."
The ApocoDocs say:
Drum roll, please.... HUMANS are to blame!

from PNAS, via Yahoo News, 02/07/08
Tipping points on many horizons
"Tipping elements in the tropics, the boreal zone, and west Antarctica are surrounded by large uncertainty," they wrote, pointing to more potential abrupt shifts than seen in a 2007 report by the U.N. Climate Panel. A projected drying of the Amazon basin, linked both to logging and to global warming, could set off a dieback of the rainforest. "Many of these tipping points could be closer than we thought," lead author Timothy Lenton, of the University of East Anglia in England, told Reuters of the study.
The ApocoDocs say:
Tipping ever faster.

from Charleston City Paper, 02/06/08
Should we be taxed for eating animals?
"The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization found in 2006 that livestock production generates 18 percent of greenhouse gases worldwide — more than the entire transportation sector of cars, trucks, planes, and ships combined. Cows constantly belch methane from their four stomachs, and lagoons of pig effluent release the gas into the air. Much of the world's beef comes from deforested areas (70 percent of former Amazon rainforest is now used for cattle grazing), a one-two punch from the loss of carbon dioxide-absorbing trees and the addition of more animals. Meat and dairy production is predicted by the U.N. to double in the next 40 years, a growth PETA feels could be abated by a 10-cent tax on each pound of meat."
The ApocoDocs say:
Surely this 10 percent increase would do wonders for the animals' self-esteem.

from Associated Press, 02/07/08
Study: Ethanol may add to global warming
"The widespread use of ethanol from corn could result in nearly twice the greenhouse gas emissions as the gasoline it would replace because of expected land-use changes, researchers concluded Thursday. The study challenges the rush to biofuels as a response to global warming. The researchers said that past studies showing the benefits of ethanol in combating climate change have not taken into account almost certain changes in land use worldwide if ethanol from corn — and in the future from other feedstocks such as switchgrass — become a prized commodity."
The ApocoDocs say:
Could it be the solution is to simply stop driving cars?

from Salt Lake Tribune, 02/07/08
Carbon dioxide could saturate seas first, kill plant life that supplies oxygen
"Greenhouse emissions' warming effect on the atmosphere is bad enough, but their bigger threat is the ecological chaos they are causing as the world's oceans become more acidic, according to a marine scientist. Oceans are absorbing the glut of atmospheric carbon dioxide - stemming from two centuries of rampant burning of fossil fuels - at the rate of 1 million metric tons an hour. Reacting with seawater, the absorbed carbon dioxide forms carbonic acid and throws marine chemistry out of whack. Without a major effort to curb emissions, massive die-off will occur in coral reefs, the shells of crucial mollusk species will dissolve and key marine plant life, which produces half the world's atmospheric oxygen, will disappear..."
The ApocoDocs say:
This article covered a visiting lecturer Marcia McNutt, a geophysicist who heads California's Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute. We bet everybody went out drinking after this cheery talk.

from The Daily Green, 02/16/08
The Seed of Deadly Tornadoes
"Temperatures as much as 25 degrees higher than normal set the stage for the deadly tornadoes that descended on the American south, leading to death, injuries and destruction in Kentucky, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama and Tennessee ... Is this another global warming harbinger?"
The ApocoDocs say:
Not to mention these tornadoes spirited away a couple of voters to Oz.

from Nature, 02/07/08
Poor Projections
"The extent to which sea level could rise by 2100 is greatly underestimated in current models, suggests a new study, highlighting the risk faced by coastal areas and island nations. Radley Horton at Columbia University, US, and colleagues estimated that sea level could rise by 54 to 89 centimetres by the end of the century, in contrast to the latest estimate by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) of 18 to 59 centimetres."
The ApocoDocs say:
Seriously, by 2100 will anyone even care?

from Post-Tribune, 02/07/08
Emission increase expected
"WHITING -- BP projects it will release 1.5 million to 2 million tons more carbon dioxide -- a greenhouse gas -- after its Whiting expansion is complete in 2011. Carbon dioxide is not a regulated pollutant, which means there's no limit on it in BP's proposed air permit. But BP was among the first corporations to recognize global warming in 1998, and environmentalists question how the 30-40 percent increase fits with BP's corporate image of reducing greenhouse gases."
The ApocoDocs say:
This just confirms our theory that BP stands for Butt Plug.

from Toronto Star, 02/10/08
The alarming redefinition of 'glacial'
"The Athabasca Glacier, remnant of ice sheets that once enveloped the Canadian Rockies and most of Canada, draws hundreds of thousands of tourists each year who catch a glimpse of what much of North America and Europe probably looked like some 10,000 years ago, the twilight of the last Ice Age...the Athabasca is melting at a faster-than-glacial pace. During the last Ice Age, the Athabasca Glacier – a river of ice six kilometres long, one kilometre wide, and as deep as 300 metres – was much deeper and stretched down the valley ... one sign predicts the glacier's disappearance in 100 years."
The ApocoDocs say:
It's the newest form of entertainment for the post-Apocalyptic-savvy: watching glaciers retreat.

from The Times of India, 02/11/08
King penguins could be wiped out by climate change
"PARIS: One of the emblems of the Antarctic, the king penguin, could be driven to extinction by climate change, a French study published on Monday warns. In a long-term investigation on the penguins' main breeding grounds, investigators found that a tiny warming of the Southern Ocean by the El Nino effect caused a massive fall in the birds' ability to survive. If predictions by UN scientists of ever-higher temperatures in coming decades prove true, the species faces a major risk of being wiped out, they say. "
The ApocoDocs say:
This species takes an entire year to complete the breeding cycle; no wonder they're on the brink! Can't they get with the program and hurry up?

from Chicago Tribune, 02/12/08
Refinery pollution may soar
"Global-warming pollution from Midwest oil refineries is expected to soar by as much as 40 percent during the next decade, a dramatic increase that runs counter to regional and national efforts to curb heat-trapping gases. Expansion plans at the BP refinery in Whiting would boost the facility's greenhouse-gas emissions to 5.8 million tons a year, the company told the Tribune. That would be equivalent to adding 320,000 cars to the nation's highways. While greenhouse gases from the tailpipes of cars get the most attention, the refineries that keep cars and trucks running also contribute to global warming. Fuel must be burned to make gasoline from oil, generating carbon-dioxide pollution."
The ApocoDocs say:
As long as we got us one of them amphibious cars with a spanking air conditioning system who the hell cares?

from Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 02/16/08
Scientists fear Tipping Point for Pacific Ocean
"Where scientists previously found a sea bottom abounding with life, two years ago they discovered the rotting carcasses of crabs, starfish and sea worms, swooshing from side to side in the current. Most fish had fled -- and those that didn't or couldn't joined the deathfest on the sea floor. Extraordinarily low oxygen levels were to blame -- swept up from the deep ocean into normally productive waters just off the Pacific Northwest coast by uncharacteristically strong winds....It looks like the Pacific has reached a "tipping point," a threshold where low-oxygen levels are becoming the rule, researchers said."
The ApocoDocs say:
The scientists conclude the ocean may be "poised for significant reorganization" -- sciencespeak for "we're screwed."

from The Australian, 02/21/08
Snail loss catastrophic for food chain
"GLOBAL warming is threatening the future of a tiny marine snail which, if lost, could trigger a catastrophic collapse of Antarctica's food chain, experts say. Pteropods have been dubbed the “potato chip” of the oceans because they provide food for so many different species. But the lentil-sized snails - eaten by fish and other lower life forms, which are in turn eaten by species higher up the food chain - are highly sensitive to temperature and acidity, both of which are affected by climate change. Carbon dioxide building up in the atmosphere is expected to make the oceans more acidic. This could have dire consequences for pteropods, impairing their ability to make shells."
The ApocoDocs say:
They call these snails the "potato chips" of the oceans -- bet they're delicious with that tasty chicken of the sea dish.

from The Age, 02/21/08
Dire new warning on climate
"RECENT work by scientists suggests climate change is advancing more rapidly and more dangerously than previously thought, according to Canberra's top adviser on the issue. In a dire warning to the Rudd Government, Ross Garnaut has declared that existing targets for cuts in greenhouse emissions may be too modest and too late to halt environmentally damaging rises in temperature. On the eve of the release today of his interim report on climate change, Professor Garnaut told a conference in Adelaide yesterday that without intervention before 2020, it would be impossible to avoid a high risk of dangerous climate change. "The show will be over," he said.
The ApocoDocs say:
For some, the show will have only begun.

from United Press International, 02/22/08
Study: Global cooling a 1970s myth
"A U.S. climatologist said there was no consensus in the 1970s that the Earth was headed for a new ice age. Thomas Peterson of the National Climatic Data Center said a survey of scientific journals of the era showed that only seven supported global cooling, 44 predicted warming and 20 others were neutral, USA Today reported Thursday...The study, which will be published in the Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society, said a review of the literature suggests that greenhouse warming even then dominated scientists' thinking.
The ApocoDocs say:
You mean ... we could have gotten started on all this 40 years ago?

from Guardian (UK), 02/23/08
2004: Pentagon tells Bush: climate change will destroy us
"Climate change over the next 20 years could result in a global catastrophe costing millions of lives in wars and natural disasters.... A secret report, suppressed by US defence chiefs and obtained by The Observer, warns that major European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas as Britain is plunged into a 'Siberian' climate by 2020. Nuclear conflict, mega-droughts, famine and widespread rioting will erupt across the world.... The threat to global stability vastly eclipses that of terrorism..."
The ApocoDocs say:
Funny. Four years ago. Oh yeah, we had that Iraq thing goin' on. Be very afraid.

from Reuters, 02/25/08
Methane, permafrost, and the Wild Card
"More research [is] urgently needed into the possibility of a runaway release of methane, a powerful heat-trapping gas trapped in frozen soils in Siberia, Canada, Alaska and Nordic nations, it said in a 2008 yearbook issued at 154-nation talks in Monaco.... Vast amounts of methane entering the atmosphere "would lead to abrupt changes in the climate that would likely be irreversible," UNEP said. "We must not cross that threshold."
The ApocoDocs say:
Siberian, Canadian, and Scandinavian permafrost, as it melts, will radically boost climate change gases, creating a serious feedback loop that will make it all worse.
Did you hear about this (even in 2005)?
Follow the money.
It ain't you and me who benefit.

from The Guardian, 02/27/08
Sumatran deforestation driving climate change and species extinction, report warns
"The destruction of Sumatra's natural forests is accelerating global climate change and pushing endangered species closer to extinction, a new report warned today. A study from WWF claims that converting the forests and peat swamps of just one Sumatran province into plantations for pulpwood and palm oil is generating more annual greenhouse gas emissions than the Netherlands, and is endangering local elephant and tiger populations. The fastest rate of deforestation in Indonesia is occurring in central Sumatra's Riau province, where some 4.2m hectares (65\%) of its tropical forests and peat swamps have been cleared for industrial plantations in the past 25 years, the study shows....The report, a joint effort between WWF, Remote Sensing Solutions and Hokkaido university in Japan, claims to be the first piece of research to analyse the connection between deforestation and forest degradation, global climate change and declining wildlife populations."
The ApocoDocs say:
The first piece of research on this essential subject? Well... bring on some more!

from Congressional Quarterly, 02/27/08
EPA Chief Overruled Staff on California Greenhouse Gas Rules
"Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Stephen Johnson was urged by his staff to allow California to set greenhouse gas emission standards for vehicles, even though he ultimately decided to block the regulations, according to documents obtained by the chairwoman of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. Sen. Barbara Boxer , D-Calif., said she plans to grill Johnson about his decision at a hearing Wednesday on the EPA’s proposed fiscal 2009 budget.
The ApocoDocs say:
C'mon, Barbara, do you hafta grill him? Can't you ... ice him?

from National Geographic News, 03/01/08
Climate Change Hitting the Sea
"When it comes to climate change, polar bears and sharks may grab the bulk of the headlines—but it's the threat to the sea's tiniest creatures that has some marine scientists most concerned. Malformed seashells show that climate change is affecting even the most basic rungs of the marine food chain—a hint of looming disaster for all ocean creatures—experts say. Climate change could drastically reduce sea urchin populations in particular, according to Gretchen Hofmann, a marine biologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara."
The ApocoDocs say:
"Please, sir, I'm just a street urchin, sir, may I have a tuppence, sir, please, just for a spot o' gruel, sir."

from The Guardian, 03/01/08
'Enjoy life while you can'
"[Climate scientist maverick James] Lovelock believes global warming is now irreversible, and that nothing can prevent large parts of the planet becoming too hot to inhabit, or sinking underwater, resulting in mass migration, famine and epidemics. Britain is going to become a lifeboat for refugees from mainland Europe, so instead of wasting our time on wind turbines we need to start planning how to survive. To Lovelock, the logic is clear. The sustainability brigade are insane to think we can save ourselves by going back to nature; our only chance of survival will come not from less technology, but more....He smiles and says: 'Enjoy life while you can. Because if you're lucky it's going to be 20 years before it hits the fan.'"
The ApocoDocs say:
We notice Lovelock left out the word "shit" -- perhaps that's why he seems so constipated in this article. Either that or he knows exactly what kind of shit we're in for.

from Campus Press, 03/02/08
CU researchers examine trends in Arctic Sea ice
"Arctic Ocean ice is at a tipping point and what happens in the next five to six years determines whether the Arctic Ocean will be mostly ice-free in the summer," he said.... The research stresses that the old ice, which has melted and the new ice that has taken its place are fundamentally different. As ice ages, its thickness, surface topography, strength, and albedo (amount of light reflectivity) change dramatically. As older and thicker ice melts, it gives way to newer, thinner ice. These conditions make the region more susceptible to rapid change and a snowball affect ensues: the more ice that is lost, the more rapidly it continues to dissipate."
The ApocoDocs say:
Just think of the savings, and the tourism opportunities, of the Northwest Passage trips!

from Associated Press, 03/05/08
OECD: World must act on climate change
"OSLO, Norway -- The world must respond to climate change and other environmental challenges now while the cost is low or else pay a stiffer price later for its indecision, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development said Wednesday. A new report by 30-nation organization looks at "red light issues" in the environment, including global warming, water shortages, energy, biodiversity loss, transportation, agriculture and fisheries...A window of opportunity to act is now open," the report said. "We need forward-looking policies today to avoid high costs of inaction or delayed action over the longer term."
The ApocoDocs say:
With an awkward acronym like that (OECD) what can they truly hope to accomplish?

from Environmental Science and Technology, 03/06/08
Tracking climate change in flowers
"Dandelions, forsythia, dogwoods, bluebells. When will they bloom this year? The answer is likely to be different than it was 50 years ago. To keep track of how flowers and foliage respond to a changing climate, the University Corporation for Atmospheric Research (UCAR) and a team of collaborators have launched an online database called Project BudBurst. The initiative allows citizen scientists, gardeners, and students to document when they see that first bud open, the timing of the first leaf, the first flower, and when the plant goes to seed. Maps showing these events across the U.S. are available on the website. Volunteers can choose from more than 60 suggested trees and flowers, or they can add their own favorite species."
The ApocoDocs say:
Hehe, I got one bud ready to burst I won't put into that database...

from The Atlantic, 03/10/08
Waterworld
"Excerpt: The Earth has always been unstable. Flooding and erosion, cyclones and tsunamis are the norm rather than the exception. But never have the planet’s most environmentally frail areas been so crowded. The slowdown in the growth rate of the world’s population has not changed the fact that the number of people living in the countries most vulnerable to natural disasters continues to increase. The Indian Ocean tsunami of December 2004 was merely a curtain-raiser. Over the coming decades, Mother Nature is likely to kill or make homeless a staggering number of people. American journalists sometimes joke that, in terms of news, thousands of people displaced by floods in Bangladesh equals a handful of people killed or displaced closer to home. But that formula is now as unimaginative and out-of-date as it is cruel."
The ApocoDocs say:
While we normally try and titillate you to read these news stories with our snarky remarks, all we can do with this fine piece of narrative journalism is simply to beseech you: Click on the link and read...

from People's Daily Online, 03/10/08
Amazon's worst-ever drought in 2005 caused by global warming
"Brazil's drought in 2005, the worst-ever hitting the Amazon, was caused by global warming instead of the El Nino weather phenomenon as previously thought, the country's National Space Research Institute (INPE) announced Sunday. "The idea that a drought comes with every El Nino is simply not correct," said INPE researcher Carlos Nobre who studied the temperature of the Atlantic Ocean and Amazon rainfall. "El Nino does not affect the southwestern Amazon region."
The ApocoDocs say:
That familiar scapegoat, El Nino, is quickly becoming the dead duck of hot-dog boys who cry wolf because they're scaredy cats about global warming.

from Science Daily (US), 03/11/08
Alarming Growth In Expected Carbon Dioxide Emissions In China, Analysis Finds
The growth in China's carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions is far outpacing previous estimates, making the goal of stabilizing atmospheric greenhouse gases even more difficult, according to a new analysis... The researchers' most conservative forecast predicts that by 2010, there will be an increase of 600 million metric tons of carbon emissions in China over the country's levels in 2000.... This growth from China alone would dramatically overshadow the 116 million metric tons of carbon emissions reductions pledged by all the developed countries in the Kyoto Protocol.
The ApocoDocs say:
Then again, it's only a theory.

from National Research Council (US), 03/11/08
Climate Change Will Have A Significant Impact On Transportation Infrastructure And Operations
"While every mode of transportation in the U.S. will be affected as the climate changes, potentially the greatest impact on transportation systems will be flooding of roads, railways, transit systems, and airport runways in coastal areas because of rising sea levels and surges brought on by more intense storms, says a new report from the National Research Council. Though the impacts of climate change will vary by region, it is certain they will be widespread and costly in human and economic terms, and will require significant changes in the planning, design, construction, operation, and maintenance of transportation systems."
The ApocoDocs say:
"Goin' down the road, feelin' bad... don't wanna be treated this-a-way..."

from Associated Press, 03/12/08
EPA hikes rules to cut smog-clogged air
"WASHINGTON - The air in hundreds of U.S. counties is simply too dirty to breathe, the government said Wednesday, ordering a multibillion-dollar expansion of efforts to clean up smog in cities and towns nationwide. The federal action, which lowers ozone limits for the atmosphere, means that 345 counties will now be in violation of the health requirement, about four times as many as under the old rules. However, scientists said the change still isn't enough to significantly reduce heart and asthma attacks from breathing smog-clogged air, and they pressed the Environmental Protection Agency to issue even more stringent requirements.... EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson, already a target of intense criticism over emissions linked to global warming and regulation of mercury from power plants, decided to take the middle ground when it comes to smog."
The ApocoDocs say:
PostApocHaiku:
EPA adopts
new smog requirements that will
kill us more slowly

from National Geographic News, 03/14/08
Water in Dams, Reservoirs Preventing Sea-Level Rise
"Dams and reservoirs have stored so much water over the past several decades that they have masked surging sea levels, a new study says. But dam building has slowed, meaning sea levels could rise more quickly than researchers predicted in a 2007 Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) report. Sea levels have been rising for decades, due mostly to global warming caused by greenhouse gases. The oceans are on average about 6.3 inches (16 centimeters) higher now than in 1930, when they started a noticeable upward climb. Melting glaciers and ice caps, along with ocean warming—water expands as it heats up—are the main culprits behind the increase."
The ApocoDocs say:
Well, damn it, why can't we just build more dams!

from National Geographic News, 03/15/08
Melting Ice Sheets Can Cause Earthquakes, Study Finds
"As ice sheets melt, they can release pent-up energy and trigger massive earthquakes, according to new study. Global warming may already be triggering such earthquakes and may cause more in the future as ice continues to melt worldwide, the researchers say....Now a new study, the first to use sophisticated computer models to simulate how ice sheets would affect the crust in the region, bolsters this scenario. The study showed that earthquakes are "suppressed in presence of the ice and promoted during melting of the ice," said study leader Andrea Hampel of the Ruhr University Bochum in Germany.
The ApocoDocs say:
It's kinda sweet, ain't it, how these massive natural -- and not so natural -- disasters as so intimately connected?

from USA Today, 03/17/08
Belize coral reef: gorgeous but threatened
A potent mix of coastal development, tourism, overfishing, pollution and climate change has damaged an estimated 40 percent of the Belize reef system, a UNESCO World Heritage Site that attracts more than a third of Belize's 850,000 annual visitors. A recent string of "bleaching events" — where vibrantly hued coral turn a skeletal white — occurred when a spike in water temperatures that scientists associate with global warming expelled symbiotic algae living inside corals. Worldwide, experts calculate that nearly 50 percent of coral reefs are under imminent or long-term threat of collapse through human pressures; 20 percent have been destroyed.... But the island's dense mangroves and coastal forests, onetime shelters for jaguars, crocodiles and juvenile fish bound for the coral reef a half-mile offshore, are giving way to condos and resorts that have drawn the likes of John Grisham and the stars of the 2001, Ambergris-based reality show Temptation Island.
The ApocoDocs say:
Belize? Belize? That's supposed to be untouched paradise!
What is going on in this world!?

from Associated Press, 03/19/08
Global warming rushes timing of spring
"WASHINGTON - The capital's famous cherry trees are primed to burst out in a perfect pink peak about the end of this month. Thirty years ago, the trees usually waited to bloom till around April 5. In central California, the first of the field skipper sachem, a drab little butterfly, was fluttering about on March 12. Just 25 years ago, that creature predictably emerged there anywhere from mid-April to mid-May....Pollen is bursting. Critters are stirring. Buds are swelling. Biologists are worrying. "The alarm clock that all the plants and animals are listening to is running too fast," Stanford University biologist Terry Root said. Blame global warming.
The ApocoDocs say:
So in other words.... spring is having a premature ejaculation!

from The Washington Post (US), 03/20/08
Perennial Arctic Ice Cover Diminishing, Officials Say
"The amount of long-lasting sea ice in the Arctic -- thick enough to survive for as much as a decade -- declined sharply in the past year, even though the region had a cold winter and the thinner one-year ice cover grew substantially, federal officials said yesterday.... The surprising drop in perennial ice makes the fast-changing region more unstable, because the thinner seasonal ice melts readily in summer."
The ApocoDocs say:
Makes the cliché "skating on thin ice" particularly appropriate.

from Montgomery Advertiser, 03/20/08
Climatologist says global warming not alarming, carbon fuels not to blame
"The Earth is getting warmer, but Alabama's state climatologist says carbon fuels aren't to blame. John Christy, who heads the Earth System Science Center at the University of Alabama- Huntsville, told a group of civic and business leaders Tuesday that the Earth's warming is well within historical ranges. He spoke at the Energy and Environment Lecture sponsored by Auburn Montgomery and Alabama Power Co. Carbon dioxide levels have increased 38 percent in the last 100 years, Christy said, leading to an increase in the average surface temperature of about 1.26 degrees. Even if carbon dioxide doubled, temperatures would increase only about 3.6 degrees, according to Christy."
The ApocoDocs say:
So, a lecture by Dr. Christy, sponsored by the Alabama Power Co....What did you think the guy was going to say? This well-known global warming "skeptic" had his famous 2003 findings debunked by the New York Times.

from Guardian (UK), 03/21/08
Glaciers melting at fastest rate in past 5,000 years
Experts have been monitoring 30 glaciers around the world for nearly three decades and the most recent figures, for 2006, show the biggest ever 'net loss' of ice. Achim Steiner, head of the UN Environment Programme (UNEP), told The Observer that melting glaciers were now the 'loudest and clearest' warning signal of global warming. The problem could lead to failing infrastructure, mass migration and even conflict. 'We're talking about something that happens in your and my lifespan. We're not talking about something hypothetical, we're talking about something dramatic in its consequences,' he said.
The ApocoDocs say:
I bet 2007 will kick 2006's ass!

from DailyKos Diary, 03/22/08
Early look at 2008 Arctic sea ice levels
In December a scientist on an icebreaker there described it as "styrofoam in a bath tub." The big unknown is whether atmospheric conditions (reduced cloudiness and increased air temps) will aid the melting as they did in 2007. If they do, expect a big melt beyond last year's. I hesitate to say that a complete loss is possible, but based on the present conditions we could well see the main pack split in two for the first time.
The ApocoDocs say:
Hoo-ee! How soon before cruise ships are going from Halifax to Alaska?
Don't miss NASA's images to accompany the teleconference call.

from Guardian (UK), 03/24/08
Climate change is accelerating
The growth of developing economies in Africa, Asia and South America has accelerated global warming far beyond official predictions and it is developed nations that must act to halt the potentially catastrophic consequences, according to a new study from the world's leading temporary power supplier, Aggreko. The warning, which has shocked environment campaigners, comes from Aggreko's chief executive, Rupert Soames, who said: 'The threat of global warming is far greater than people have previously thought. The consensus figure on the world's power consumption going forward to 2015 is simply wrong.'
The ApocoDocs say:
That's so... unpredictable! Who could have imagined that "they" would want what "we" have? And use energy like "we" have?

from Moscow Times, 03/25/08
Carbon Credits Get Cool Reception
"Despite evidence that the country's northernmost reaches are melting, threatening people and animals as well as its unique landscape, concern over global warming has yet to hit home for many Russians. Indeed, environmental experts say melting icecaps have prompted Russia's push to reclaim part of the Arctic with showy submarine missions that would have been all but impossible just a few years ago. And environmental issues make the front pages mainly when huge foreign-led oil and gas projects fall afoul of the Kremlin."
The ApocoDocs say:
Maybe we need another Cold War!

from The Sault Star, 03/25/08
Arctic ice refreezes 4 percent, not enough, scientists say
"U.S. scientists say critical Arctic sea ice has made a tenuous partial recovery this winter, following last summer's record melt. But that is an illusion - like a Hollywood movie set - says scientist Walter Meier of the National Snow and Ice Data Center in Washington. The ice is very thin and vulnerable to heavy melting again this summer. Overall, Arctic sea ice has shrunk precipitously in the past decade and scientists blame global warming caused by humans. Last summer, Arctic ice shrank to an area that was 27 per cent smaller than the previous record. This winter, it recovered to a maximum of 15 million square kilometres. That's up four per cent and the most since 2003, NASA ice scientist Josefino Comiso said. It is still a bit below the long-term average level for this time of year."
The ApocoDocs say:
Is it fair to say that... this new ice is skating on thin ice?

from LiveScience.com, 03/25/08
Vast Antarctic Ice Shelf on Verge of Collapse
A vast ice shelf hanging on by a thin strip looks to be the next chunk to break off from the Antarctic Peninsula, the latest sign of global warming’s impact on Earth's southernmost continent. Scientists are shocked by the rapid change of events. Scambos alerted colleagues at the British Antarctic Survey (BAS) that it looked like the entire ice shelf — about 6,180 square miles (16,000 square kilometers — about the size of Northern Ireland)— was at risk of collapsing.
The ApocoDocs say:
The size of "Northern Ireland." A new way to think about "The Troubles."

from Los Angeles Times, 03/28/08
EPA chief bides time on court's emissions order
"EPA Administrator Stephen L. Johnson has shelved his agency's findings that greenhouse gases are a danger to the public, and on Thursday told Congress that he will initiate a lengthy public comment period about whether such emissions are a risk before responding to a U.S. Supreme Court order. The move means there is virtually no chance the Bush administration will act to regulate greenhouse gases in response to the high court's decision in the time left in office."
The ApocoDocs say:
That's all we need: more emissions (lies and hot air) from the skeptics.

from Fresno Bee, 03/30/08
Moving to cooler ground
"The 2,000-year-old giant sequoias east of Fresno have survived warm spells lasting centuries, but in just 100 years, global warming could snuff them out -- along with many Sierra Nevada species. Why? The current episode of climate change is moving faster than any warm-up detected in the past 500,000 years, many scientists say. Many say car exhaust and other global-warming emissions from human activities may be the reason."
The ApocoDocs say:
Possibly car exhaust from the Toyota Sequoia? Check out the shitty mpg stats on the Sequoia

from University of Missouri-Columbia, 03/30/08
Despite Awareness Of Global Warming Americans Concerned More About Local Environment
"...Results from a recent survey conducted by a University of Missouri professor reveal that the U.S. public, while aware of the deteriorating global environment, is concerned predominantly with local and national environmental issues. “The survey’s core result is that people care about their communities and express the desire to see government action taken toward local and national issues,” said David Konisky, a policy research scholar with the Institute of Public Policy. “People are hesitant to support efforts concerning global issues even though they believe that environmental quality is poorer at the global level than at the local and national level. This is surprising given the media attention that global warming has recently received and reflects the division of opinion about the severity of climate change.”
The ApocoDocs say:
Why would it be surprising that Americans are only concerned about their own little worlds?

from Washington Post (US), 03/31/08
Gore Launches Ambitious Advocacy Campaign on Climate
"Former vice president Al Gore will launch a three-year, $300 million campaign Wednesday aimed at mobilizing Americans to push for aggressive reductions in greenhouse gas emissions, a move that ranks as one of the most ambitious and costly public advocacy campaigns in U.S. history. The Alliance for Climate Protection's "we" campaign will employ online organizing and television advertisements on shows ranging from "American Idol" to "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." It highlights the extent to which Americans' growing awareness of global warming has yet to translate into national policy changes, Gore said in an hour-long phone interview last week. He said the campaign, which Gore is helping to fund, was undertaken in large part because of his fear that U.S. lawmakers are unwilling to curb the human-generated emissions linked to climate change."
The ApocoDocs say:
Woo-hoo! The American idle can have their consciousness raised in the convenient comfort of their living rooms.

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